…or where the hell I've been for the last 4 months. So, right before I abandoned you guys, I was in a big state of change. If you remember, I told you about how my roommate was moving to a new place, my job was moving to a new state, and how I was moving into a new decade. Well, in the time since that post lots of things have happened, and I wanted to give you a quick run down of the bigger things.
First, my roommate Crystal moved out. There was no horrible break up, the truth is she found a super amazing one bedroom and I couldn't be happier for her. I mean, I think that's what most everyone wants as they grow up- a super cool space all their own. (present company excluded because my almost daily viewing of crime dramas combined with an overactive imagination, fear of the boogie man who probably still lives under my bed, and my love of having someone to talk to, make me mildly codependent.)
Second, my job of the last 5 and a half years moved all the way to California. This one was rough in the way that still, months later, I can be brought to tears just thinking about what it all meant to me and how much I miss it. I started out as a nanny for one with a family I thought would be cool to work for. Somewhere along the way my two bosses became friends, confidants, and important parts of my everyday life. My daily job changed from watching that one little baby to wrangling three perfectly weird, funny, difficult, challenging, and beautiful kids, who I am still so in love with that my heart wants to explode most every time I think of them. My very first day my boss handed me a teeny tiny eight week old baby and left for work. I remember looking at that baby and thinking, 'What am I going to do with you!?!'. In the last days of my time with them, hanging out in their new, beautiful, California life, I looked around at all of them and thought, 'What am I going to do without you!?!'.
Third, this whole new frontier of being thirty is fast approaching. When I originally started this blog I was scared to death of the impending jump into a whole new decade and the regrets and missed milestones I'd have to face. As of today, I am a little more than a month out, and I am positive about one thing: It's really happening, and I am going to turn thirty whether I like it or not.
When I wrote that original post about my life shifting on it's axis, I was scared of what my homelife would be like, what I would do without this family I fell in love with, and what would happen when I wasn't in my twenties anymore. The crazy thing is that as each of these fears are being realized, I have survived. There is probably no more powerful place to be than on the other side of great fear because once you've faced it, what do you have to be scared of?
Realistically this doesn't mean I'm totally fearless now, or completely self assured. In my case, it means I have found a whole new set of things that scare me and a whole new list of fears to conquer. I could fill pages and pages of the new heart stopping things I've found to make my pulse race and my palms sweat, but I'll spare you that for now. However this week, I am going to bring you a few of the bigger, bloggier ones. I'll try something new and scary and hope I find myself better off on the other side.
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