on the subject of why I chose cannoli.

 

  

My love affair started a few years ago when I was living in Manhattan.  I was working a million hours a week, stressing about everything under the sun, and navigating New York by myself.*  Stress can lead you to do a lot of very bad for you things, and in my case, my stress led me to the Columbus Gourmet.  I think it started innocently enough.  While CG wasn't my morning deli for coffee or a bagel, it was my stop for everything else.  It happened to be on my way home, it happened to have delicious dinners I could grab after a 12 hour work day when I was so delerious with exhaustion I couldn't have even followed the directions on ramen, and they had internet (which my apartment did not) and whatever else I was out of.  I'm not a huge dessert fan, but I'll take a baked good here and there, and I'd occasionally grab something the counter guy recommended.  At some point  a cannoli must have gotten thrown into the mix because I'd grab one every so often, if I was there and they looked good.

I'm not sure how the jump happened from recreational cannoli user to habitual cannoli abuser, but I can say my 'need' for a cannoli was directly proportionate to my stress level on any given day at work.  At some point my slippery slope of stress combined with readily available fresh pastries turned me into a daily user.  I became a rewarder, as in when it got to be around 3:00 and I was reaching break down status with hours of work still ahead of me, I would whisper to myself 'make it to the end of the day, and you can stop at the Gourmet and get a cannoli as a reward.'  Pretty much, when the going got rough, I got cannoli.  Those months, 'the cannoli months', are a blur.

 I eventually moved back to Chicago chubbier than I left, and with a new found love of cannoli.  While I'm still working on losing the pastry weight, I did manage to leave my daily addiction in NYC.  This week however, all bets are off.  I'm treating the entire week as one epic reward.      

*Save for a few amazing friends that I am eternally greatful to who probably drew straws weekly to see who would get stuck with lost, codependent, me for another weekend of letting me tag along.